THE REAL GONE SINGLES BAR #135 (FESTIVE EDITION)

For this visit to the Singles Bar, everything has taken on a distinctly festive theme. We bring you eight Xmas recordings from different artists and genres – ranging from the well known to the genuinely cult – which hopefully will enrich your holiday time playlists for years to come. A much loved rock band offer a new cover tune; there’s a brilliantly ugly electronica themed Elvis tribute, and ‘Santa Baby’ as you’ve probably never heard it before. There’s also a touch of Americana, some great pop, and a nod to the mighty Slade along the way. We hope there’s something here for everyone who loves Christmas music… Pour yourself another eggnog and dive in!

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The stabbing pianos and sleigh bells that fill the intro of ‘Christmas With Me’ by Jessie Wagner telegraph some really traditional festive fare. Having attracted the attention of Xmas music lovers in the most direct way, the melody then branches out into some very 60s inspired pop, taking the heart of ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’, melding it to something almost that’s Sp*ctor-esque, before delivering everything with a slight power pop punch. Against a near perfect arrangement, Jessie’s vocal positively soars, sharing a radiant lyric and melody that really adds to the yuletide tone. With the addition of some superb harmonies and an even more retro sounding middle eight, this is a track that goes from strength to strength. There’s nothing here that you won’t have heard from many a Christmas track over the years, but in many ways, that’s what makes it so perfect – it already sounds like a classic.

Putting a mellow twist on a genuine crowd pleaser, The Struts’ frontman Luke Spiller offers a superb cover of the Slade classic ‘Merry Xmas Everybody’. Initially, the recording feels as if it’ll take cues from the version recorded by Oasis0 back in the day, but this is far more subtle. Spiller works a mix of finger picked and strummed acoustic guitars to build a melody, and from there, the track takes in some light orchestration to pull at the heartstrings, adds a couple of festive bells and a choir of voices to bring the great chorus to life. He’s in great voice too, and taking a more aching approach to the melody – which remains unchanged – it allows his natural cry to do most of the heavy lifting. If you’ve reached the point where you feel you never need to hear this song again, this very different take might just change your mind.

Here’s another cover from a much loved band. Over the years, thanks to their classic ‘Christmas Time (Don’t Let The Bells End)’ – a tune that marries huge pomp melodies with traditional festive elements and a brilliant nob gag – The Darkness have become as synonymous with Xmas as Slade and Greg Lake. This year, they bring something different to their Christmas canon, in the shape of a cover of ‘Mistletoe & Wine’. Everyone’s sick to death of Cliff’s version, so hearing it given a (relative) kick up the arse with a few guitar lines and a raft of sleigh bells is surprisingly welcome. In the main, Justin Hawkins doesn’t play this up with as much flamboyance as you’d hope, but the mix of strong melodies and presence of guitar is decent enough, and eventually, a brilliant climax unleashes a faintly ridiculous and knowing falsetto, giving fans the festive treat they’d hoped for.

The Speaker Wars bring a light Americana tone to their Christmas on ‘Brighten The Corner’ which, when blended with elements of retro pop and gospel, leads to a well rounded number that feels especially heartfelt. Initially, the sharp acoustic guitar chords sound like they’re keen to drop into a Shawn Colvin tune at the drop of a hat, and don’t lend themselves to the expected smooth melody. In time, though, this blossoms into a timeless sounding arrangement that brings out the best in the musicians. The acoustic elements fit very naturally with a strident piano, and lurking in the back, an old school organ brings even more of a retro feel. With a few shimmering lead guitars giving everything a lift, the music is perfectly pitched, but it’s the lead vocals with their slightly weathered tone and the gospel inspired harmonies that steal the show. This isn’t a frivolous Xmas tune, but if approached in a more reflective mood, it sounds great.

Those already familiar with Electric Children collaborator Jesika Von Rabbit will already be aware of her subversive nature and desire to not play things safely. Her arty nature really comes to life on a cover of the Elvis classic ‘Blue Christmas’. Originally issued in a pre-lockdown era, it’s been repromoted this year, and it feels ready to greet a new audience with a knowing grin. The vocal melody of the original cut – and subsequent covers – holds firm. By keeping the melody and meter, it remains totally recognisable, but beyond that, Ms. Rabbit makes the number her own with a whole world of vocal reverb, transforming the easy listening heartbreaker into something more suited to the alternative set, and replaces the lightly strummed guitars with a wall of ugly synths where pitch adjusted notes fall somewhere between the ugly end of Kraftwerk and and peak Chemical Brothers. Somehow, it works on its own terms, and pretty much guarantees you’ll never hear ‘Blue Christmas’ in the same way again.

Opening with a solo sax dropping into an old rock ‘n’ roll riff, ‘Naughty Or Nice’ – a festive offering from Boston’s Stop Calling Me Frank – makes no secret of its very retro infleunces. After breaking into an melody that sounds like a lax Brian Setzer channelling Coast To Coast, they sound even more assured, taking their audience on a journey through a 50s inspired romp where curling vocals and wheezing brass do a huge amount of work in bringing a fun feel to a familiar sounding arrangement. If you’ve already heard this band, you’ll have a good idea of what to expect here, but the Franks’ use of brass and swinging rhythm really comes into its own on this track, more than ever before, serving up something that really sounds like its been unearthed from a previous generation. In terms of “alternative” Xmas fare, this track is a winner.

Irish rockers Wynona Bleach take a rather negative view of the holiday season on the brilliant ‘(I Don’t Know Why) I Wish You A Merry Christmas’, a musical tale of neglect. The lyric may come with a sneer, and the riff might not deliver the joyous vibes of more traditional Xmas tunes, but this still comes with a world of sleigh bells and Xmas themed lyric, and is absolutely superb. The very retro groove takes cues from old numbers like ‘Tears On My Pillow’, adds an alt-metal tone and mixes both with a clean and almost sugary vocal that suits both aspects. From about a verse in, it sounds like the kind of Christmas track that’ll eventually become a cult classic. With Melyssa Shannon’s lead vocal providing a strangely alluring tone from within the semi-noisy backdrop, it’s almost like hearing a version The Dollyrots who’ve turned their back on power pop for something nearer to a post-grunge workout. For those looking for a genuine alternative to the usual celebratory fare, this could be an instant favourite, and if it inspires people to dig into the band’s previous recordings, this becomes so much more than a year end “novelty”.

Finally, as is traditional every December, Greek metallers Absinthe Green are re-promoting their anti-festive anthem ‘Satan Baby’. On the fun recording, they take the once saccharine/creepy ‘Santa Baby’ and invert it, creating a crunchy and blues drenched metal workout that contrasts a familiar melody with a very dark tone. From the outset, this recording makes a superb feature of a big, curling vocal, bringing a real sass to the track, but once the guitars arrive, their solid tones bring an equal amount of entertainment, ploughing through something that could appeal to trad metal and doom metal/stoner fans alike. Once you take on board the basic premise, this is quite predictable, but with a couple of lyrical twists, a casually dropped expletive or two, and a genuine sneer present throughout, this is still a brilliant alternative Xmas track.

December 2025